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Birth Stories |
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Birth Story
Madeleine Grace
Madeleine Grace Ustruck was born at home surrounded by love on Saturday, February 4, 2006 at 7:47 pm. She was greeted by her Daddy, big brother, Jack, and a sea of women including her grandmother, Susan Coffman. She weighed 6 lbs 11 ounces and was 21 inches long. Her official due date was February 14, so she was 10 days early.
I would describe Madeleine’s birth to be similar to my Blessingway given in January by Jen Culotta, Stephanie Dyer and Jeanne Wheat. If you’ve ever read the book, The Red Tent, or if you are familiar with the story, I would say that Madeleine’s birth was just like that. I was truly surrounded by amazing women who care so much about me and my family. We are so very very blessed to be loved so much. To welcome a daughter into a blessed circle of women was just so befitting of the occasion. I truly hope Madeleine is as blessed as I am to be surrounded by such a special group of women and friends during her life.
Friday afternoon, I left to go to the Omni Houston Westside Hotel for a women’s retreat with our church. I checked into the room I shared with two friends, Amber Cook and Kelly Elkins and tried to rest before the retreat began, but I could not fall asleep. I had trouble sleeping the night before as well, so I knew it would not be long. The retreat began and I was totally immersed into the opportunity I had before me to commune with God. How beautiful and sacred to know that my daughter was able to join me for this special event.
Saturday morning after breakfast, I had my first contraction. The contraction felt different than I remember them feeling when I was in labor with Logan, so I called my midwife, Sandra MacDonald to verify that it was indeed a contraction. More contractions followed and I immediately called to let my midwife, doula, husband, mom, and my friend and official birth photographer, Jen Culotta know that we may be welcoming a baby sometime later that day. I knew after Logan’s lightning fast birth that I wanted to give people a heads up even if it was just a false alarm. Thankfully, it was the real deal!
I left the retreat sometime after 3 pm as the contractions were getting stronger and closer together. I wanted to get home in time to spend some time with Jack and Logan and get the house ready to welcome our baby. I called Amber on my way home to let her know that I left the retreat and she prayed over me. (She had been following me around making sure I was okay all day at the retreat, so I wanted to let her know where I was, so she didn’t worry.) I so appreciate the prayers, Amber. They were so uplifting and I truly felt surrounded by the Holy Spirit throughout my birth. When I got home, I saw my neighbor Lori and told her that I thought we might have a baby by 8 pm. I’m amazed at how accurate I was. I thought we’d get the kids to bed and things would really kick up, but my body was already in motion and not willing to wait.
By 4 pm, I was quite certain I was in labor, but I had Christopher check to see if I was dilated. He thought I was 4-5 cm, so I called to tell Debbie and Sandra that they should begin to head over around 5-5:30 pm. We were all thrilled that we could be together before the later stages of labor began unlike Logan’s birth when they were called late and were only able to arrive minutes before the birth.
I started to worry as I was trying to get my birth space ready because it felt really crazy with the kids there. It was not the peaceful environment I had envisioned. I had always imagined that it would happen in the middle of the night and my children would be asleep. Thankfully, another neighbor and friend, Jana Rice invited Jack to go eat dinner with them, and Lori offered to come put Logan to bed, so Christopher could be with me. Once the kids were taken care of, I felt much better. My mom arrived first determined not to miss this birth, followed by my friend and photographer, Jen Culotta, my friend and doula Debbie Hull, my friend Melissa Moore, my friend and midwife Sandra MacDonald, and my friend Stephanie Dyer.
This time, I was determined to give birth on my bed, so I could actually get some pictures and video from the birth and in hopes that it would slow labor down so I wouldn’t end up with another lightning fast labor. I labored in bed once the contractions started to become more intense and felt really supported by my midwife Sandra who putting pressure on my lower back and Debbie, my doula who was holding me and talking me through each contraction. Melissa and Stephanie rubbed my feet and that really helped take my mind away from the discomfort I felt. Every woman should be lucky enough to be surrounded by supportive women during birth!
During each of my three pregnancies, one of our cats declares herself baby guardian. With Jack, it was Arabella. With Logan, it was Maggie, and with Madeleine, it was Zoe. Zoe guarded over us each day, even when Sandra would come for my monthly visits, Zoe would dash up on the bed always present to hear the heartbeat of our little angel. During labor, when labor was getting more intense, Zoe who usually shies away from our houseguests, barged in the room to check on us. I heard people telling her to go away, but knew I did not want her to go. She would relax and comfort me and she did. She made the perfect doula kitten and was not at all scared away by my labor noises.
I was not sure how I’d feel with so many people present during the birth, but it was actually great. All of the women there knew how to respect my birthing space. They were quiet during contractions, so I could focus, and we all laughed and had fun between contractions. I never felt distracted by them. Once I was in “laborland”, it was just me, inside myself. I was grateful for their support, their touch, their strength, and their presence. These were all women that I trust and women that have always supported me on my journey as wife and mother. To welcome my daughter into this circle was a blessed occasion.
I felt the urge to push through contractions early- just little pushes to help work through the contractions. My water broke 37 minutes before Madeleine was born and sprayed everyone there. Labor really started to become intense. Debbie continued to remind me that it was never bigger than me, but boy did it feel bigger than me at times! I think in many ways, I expected to push Madeleine out as quickly as I pushed Logan out, but this time, it seemed to take much longer and that my pushing was not strong enough. It wasn’t something I expected, but I’m realizing that every birth is different and unique and perfectly created for each baby. The pushing phase of labor was rather intense, but when Stephanie held the mirror for me to see, I knew it wouldn’t be long before we saw our baby’s head emerge into the world. I pushed with all my might and soon we had our baby. The whole room was silent as Christopher and I tried to discover the sex of our baby. I had trouble seeing with the cord in the way, so I asked Christopher and he said we had a baby girl, and the whole room cheered loudly! A baby girl! We would have been happy with any baby, but we are so enjoying this journey into the world of pink clothes and frilly blankets. I am so blessed that I will now know what it means to have a daughter. I know she will complete me and my circle as a woman.
Jack was able to witness this blessed event when he returned from dinner with Jana. He sat in Grammy’s lap and was so brave. When I asked him the next day about watching his sister being born, he had tears in his eyes. I think it has touched his heart and he will remain forever changed. He already feels so attached to her.
The boys are truly captivated by her. Madeline is the luckiest little girl because she has two brothers who are truly overjoyed with her presence here in our family. Watching Jack and Logan embrace her so immediately and whole-heartedly is a gift I never expected, but one I will treasure in my heart forever. Jack who normally can’t be still for more than 3 minutes and never misses an opportunity to play outside has turned down everything to sit as close to Madeleine and I as possible and gaze at her. Logan loves to come and touch her hair and say, “hi, hi, hi!” They both cannot get enough of her. My heart is so full of love as I watch my children love their sister so enthusiastically.
Christopher is just beaming! He helped Sandra “catch” Madeleine and was really moved by her birth. He has wanted a Daddy’s girl for so long and now he has his wish. It’s wonderful to see him so happy!
Because Christopher and I never like to find out the sex of our baby ahead of time, we did not know that we would be greeted by a baby girl, so we only had a few girl clothes. I mentioned this to one person (Misti Matchett) who went out immediately to bring us girl clothes at 10 pm the night of her birth! Thanks, Misti! Since then the girl clothes have been coming in droves. It makes us laugh. My sister who missed the birth by just minutes even bought Madeleine her first pink string bikini for her first summer at the pool.
Perhaps one of the most amazing things I’m experiencing right now is a life of pure abandonment. Madeleine’s birth has left us all touched in ways we never imagined. The life we lived before is not familiar and we’ve all abandoned what was important to us before to focus solely on the beautiful life before us and the love that permeates our home. Children are truly gifts from God. They so completely change you that you are never ever the same. Each one brings so much to your home, to your life, and to the person you know within. Madeleine represents so much hope. She is the light we so needed in our life. Her beauty and pureness will continue to guide us all towards the life God wants us to live. We are so blessed- our entire family is so very blessed.
Thanks to each one of you that helped to make this dream possible. Thanks for all the love and support. We truly feel surrounded by love as we venture forth into a new direction. The meals and clothes are so very much appreciated. It really does take a village to raise a child and we’re so fortunate to have such a circle of friends and family that care so very much. May God bless you and keep you safe on your own journey and may you be reminded of the pure joy that comes from truly loving another with all of your heart and all of your soul.
With a heart full of love,
Julie
Mama to Jack Christopher (12/12/2000), Logan Alexander (10/22/2003) and Madeleine Grace (2/4/2006)
Devoted wife to Christopher