Oliver’s birth story begins 10 days later than I thought it would.  But since my first son was late, we anticipated that this one would be a bit overdue also.  My mother and stepfather were in from Toledo expecting to already have a new grandchild.  So, with everyone here, we had decided to include my mother in the birth if it were to happen while she was here.  She is a labor and delivery nurse and has practiced in the hospital for over 35 years, so she was very excited to be here and part of the birth experience of her grandchild. 

On Wed, Oct. 6^th, Steven and I had a date night.  We thought it was a good idea to take advantage of gamma and grandpa being in town.  And after we got home, we both started to automatically clean.  I didn’t think anything of this, because the house got messy quickly in a mere 36 hours of two more people in it.  Plus I had been cleaning/nesting for over three weeks solid anyway, making sure things were in order always helps me relax.  That evening, Steven went in to sleep with Aiden since he woke up like he usually does around 12:30 and I tried to go to sleep in our room.  Around ONE A.M., I begun to have contractions, very mild, but contractions all the same.  I didn’t think much of them since I had, in the past two weeks, similar contractions that went away when I slept.  But this time things were very different.  I would fall asleep and wake up with a mild contraction, get irritated, get on hands and knees to try and get comfortable, and fall asleep again.  This went on for only 30 minutes or so.  I went in to tell Steven that I was possibly in labor and to let my mom and Les know.  He asked if he should go back to sleep and I thought it was a good idea.  I couldn’t stand the excitement of finally, maybe being in labor, and I had this crazy urge to buy diaper covers on line.  So I went to a site that had just opened for custom orders (sugarbums) and tried for over an hour to get an order in.  My contractions at the beginning of the hour were about 10 minutes apart, and by the end of the hour they were 4 or so.  Needless to say, I didn’t get my order in because I had to keep getting up off the chair to walk around and breath.  It was about that time that I woke Steven for the second time (probably around 2:30-3:00). He went into full alert mode and went to tell mom and Les this was the real deal.  I decided to labor in my bedroom until Les could get up and out of the house.  I called Debbie, my awesome doula and friend, who lives down the street and let her know this was finally happening…thank GOD!  I remember having to breath through a contraction over the phone, and she said she was taking a shower and would be right over.  Steven, who was now on the phone with my midwife, Pat, told her my contractions were about every 5 minutes.  And Pat said she was thinking about going for a 5 am run.  This was quickly decided against when my mom realized that my contractions were now 3 minutes apart and coming on strong and steady.

I continued to labor in my house, walking around with Steven, Debbie, or mom…sometimes all three.  I labored on the birth ball, on the bed on all four… pretty much anything that my body was telling me to do, I did to get through each contraction.  I don’t remember much detail during my time in labor-land, but I do recall needing everyone.  I was able to hear Steven and connect with him, my mother, Debbie, which was such a huge help.  My birth space was just what I needed it to be.  Full of the people I loved and quite, warm, and peaceful.  All three of my labor assistants were awesome, giving me affirmations, cool compresses, counter pressure, physical and emotional support, and unconditional acceptance of believing in my ability to birth and listen to my body.

I think that sometime around 4 am Pat arrived.  I was laboring in the tub by then and was being supported by Steven from behind.  I also was having a lot of pain in my upper back and was thinking that the baby was posterior.  I think that is where most of my yelling happened.  I vaguely recall telling the group after a particularly difficult contraction with lots of back pain that, “This better be transition!!!!!!!!!”  So someone would apply counter pressure that didn’t seem to help much.  Between contractions, I was hanging on the side of the tub with Steven behind me and Debbie wiping me off with a cold towel, which I felt like the best thing in the whole world.  During one very powerful contraction I was squatting in the tub and holding onto the side and my water broke.  I told everyone that “Oh, my water just broke.”  Pat leaned over and listened with the Doppler and asked if I was up for getting out of the tub to check my cervix since I was making sounds like I was ready to push.  I tried to sit on the side of the tub and that was not a comfortable feeling and needed assistance getting to the bed.

I got to the bed and Pat checked my cervix, finding that I had a cervical lip.  She asked if it was if was OK if she tried to push my cervix over the baby’s head during my next contraction.  I was ok with it and my mother and Debbie held my legs to open my pelvis and the contraction came hard and fast and Pat pushed the cervical lip over the baby’s head.  This pain was worse than a contraction, but it did get things moving fast.  Immediately I needed to get off the bed and squat.  So I slid off the bed and braced myself with my arms behind me on the mattress and squatted on the floor.  Steven was in the bathroom trying to refill the tub for a water-birth.  However, there was no moving me once I was complete.  I felt the need to push immediately and had felt a lot of pressure in my bottom.  However, I quickly lost feeling in my legs and my mother immediately got underneath me and I sat on knee.   I began to push and Pat called to Steven to come and catch his baby.  Debbie held a mirror for me and I reached down to touch is sweet head, which came out and was full of black/brown hair (big surprise!).  I don’t remember much after that because I was totally focused on the pushing.  After his head came out, I remember that Pat and Debbie told me that it was time to get the rest of him out.  However, I needed to have a moment between contractions, and seemed to remember that I was feeling Pat tug on the baby.  Pat tried to free the shoulders with the next contraction.  I pushed and that force was enough to move him from his position.  Steven was ready and caught his back and bottom, which came popping out once his shoulders cleared.  He immediately put Oliver on my stomach and I remember seeing a lot of blood from my tear (2^nd degree, no big deal) and saying, “He’s so big!  Is that a scrotum I feel?”  Steven announced that it was indeed a baby boy and we all cried.  Oliver was born at 6:04 am after only 5 hours of labor.

I think someone asked if they could hold Oliver so I could get on the bed and deliver my placenta, and I said “I am holding my baby, you all are going to have to lift me on the bed!”  Which they did and I proceeded to bask in the beauty of my new son.

My mother went to wake up Aiden, who wasn’t happy; he is not a great waker-upper.  When he walked into the room, he was still sleepy, but warmed up immediately and said, “This is my baby sister?”  To which we said, “No, this is your baby brother!”  He didn’t seem to mind at all and immediately kissed him sweetly on the head.  I was so thrilled to be able to have this experience of my first baby meeting my second baby.  We had lots of alternative plans on how to let Aiden do his own thing during the birth, because we felt it was important to let him call the shots about whether or not he was ready to see mommy in labor or a baby being born.  I had really felt that I was going to go into labor during the night and was visualizing the birth for many weeks as an evening event.  Amazingly, as I labored all over the house, and vocalized loudly on many occasions, Aiden slept peacefully in his room.

As they both nursed, Aiden would gaze at Oliver and caress him and Oliver would look at Aiden as if to say, “I know you!”  Soon after I began nursing both boys I delivered the placenta.

This was really amazing to see.  Especially since I was not able to see my placenta from Aiden’s birth.   What an amazing organ!  Although I could do without the afterbirth contractions, my uterus was down to its original size within less than a week.

After we were ready and Oliver nursed, Pat did the newborn exam.  NO ONE had any idea he was going to be so big.  It was quite a shock to everyone…even Pat.  My mother and Pat were guessing his weight to be about 9.5 lbs.  When they put him on the scale, Pat said, “OH, we were way off…Steven come and read the scale.”  Debbie was with me in the bedroom, they were in the bathroom with the scale, and I remember Debbie saying he was 9 something because she was hearing their guesses about his weight.  Then I saw Debbie’s face light up and she said, “Steph, he is 10LBS 13OZ.”   Steven came in the room with Oliver and handed him to me grinning from ear to ear.  He looked very proud.  I however was in a state of shock.  To this day, Debbie loves to tell the story about the biggest homebirth baby she has every attended.

I can’t believe how perfect Oliver’s birth was.  I really was confident that I would have my home birth and worked very hard to make it happen.  I will always feel blessed that I helped Oliver come into this world surrounded by people who loved him before ever meeting him.  My birth space was quiet, peaceful, and safe because it was our home.  I will always look lovingly at the spot where I pushed him from my body into his daddy’s loving hands.  I don’t think I even want the stains on my carpet removed, as they are a testimony to the incredibly hard work I did.  I am proud to have given birth on my mother’s knee.  She supported me not only physically but emotionally as well.  Debbie and Pat were such loving, positive, and supportive presences.  I could not have imagined anything more perfect and beautiful.  And best of all, Aiden was there immediately after Oliver joined our family, a loving and gentle big brother, who never tires of holding him and giving him kisses.  He truly loves his baby brother and says so every day.  What a gift!

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